My Turquoise Bag

“A spring breeze is blowing
I’m bursting with laughter
Wishing for flowers”

Matsuo Basho

Losing my job at the beginning of Autumn felt fitting. As if on cue with the leaves falling outside, the ending of that job felt like a release. The winds of change were telling me that it was time for something new.

Autumn invited me to slow down. To listen and process. I healed the parts of me that felt wounded, made peace with the past and opened up space for a new future.

When Winter came in full force and stretched long, I sought comfort in nurturing my relationships. Now that I had the time for it, I spent time with my retired parents, I visited my friends on mat leave and snuggled with their babies, and I opened my door to more couch hangs with friends.

A friend called this period of my life an ‘unplanned sabbatical’.

She pointed out that I was taking a break from work burnout and was rediscovering what I wanted next in my career, all the while taking the time to live slowly and reconnect with what matters to me outside of work.

She also reminded me that I wasn’t going to have all this free time forever. It was up to me to use it wisely.

She was right. This mindset shift was powerful. Why not reframe this unemployment as a mini-sabbatical?

Now that Spring has finally sprung, I’m finding myself leaning in my unplanned sabbatical a little more actively.

I asked myself: “What have I always wanted to do but never had time to do because of a 9-5 routine?”.

The answer is: being outside.

In springtime, my unplanned sabbatical looks like:

• Reading books outdoors in the middle of the day
• Quiet mornings at High Park during cherry blossom season
• Park strolls with my Mom
• Discovering a fragrant magnolia tree at Rockway Gardens
• Participating in haiku writing at the Sakura exhibit in the middle of the week
• Weekday coffee and lunch dates with friends
• Decorating our home with fresh seasonal flowers
• Calm Monday mornings by the lake

My next career chapter hasn’t fully crystallized yet, but one thing is clear: right now, I have the privilege of time.

Time to myself. Time with myself.

Time to be outside.

Time to spend with the people who feel like sunshine, sitting under sunshine.

All this happening on cue with the trees starting to change again.

Once more, the trees are matching the journey. A period of rest was needed before a period of bloom.

I hope, dear friend and reader, that you understand I am not glamourizing unemployment. As someone who has experienced job insecurity in the span of 5 years, I understand the stresses intimately. And, I have learned from them.

I learned not to rely on just one employer to build stability for a rainy day, and that so much of what happens at work is beyond my control. I can’t control a business’ decision to cut budgets, but I can control how I spend my time when I am not working.

Most importantly, I learned that my job is not my self-worth nor my full identity, which makes this free time even more fulfilling.

That is why, dear reader, I’m proposing to insert pause and reflection in a world that pressures us to move rapidly. A world that feeds us an illusion of always doing more and needing more which leaves us feeling unfulfilled and drained.

Maybe we can all use a mini mental sabbatical this season and reflect on these prompts:

What energizes you? What drains you?

What can you grow? What can you eliminate?

When is it time for change?

When is it time for help?

Look around you. Step outside. Maybe you’ll find your answers in cotton candy petals landing softly in your hair.

xo 🌸