A bittersweet month. A milestone month. An unexpected month.
A month when, a year ago, my best friend asked me to marry him. The month we were supposed to have our Fall wedding at a rustic restaurant physically surrounded by our close family and friends.
Instead, it has become a month nearing the end of a historically rocky year, while still finding ways to celebrate what could have been, what was, and what will be.
There has been quite some movement since September. And it was all rather unexpected.
Just as I was settling into a quiet season of self-rediscovery, reorienting my blogging purpose, and getting excited for Autumnal outdoor time….I got offered a job.
Just like that, a job fell onto my lap. Not just any job – a “picking up from where I left off before I got laid off” kind of job. A job I wasn’t actively looking for at that specific moment in time, but the type of job I would have hand-picked myself if I was.
It’s been exactly a month since I started, and each week has been met with a different set of emotions – gratitude, adjustment, self-doubt, excitement, motivation, and my imposter complex popping up every now and then, shaking her off each time.
Having this sudden change was very exciting, but in truth, I didn’t really know how to feel.
On one hand, I wasn’t ready to go back to working full-time again. I loved my time off. In fact, I was planning on staying off until the end of the year, and getting back to the job hunt at the start of 2021.
I still had a list of “things to do / learn / unlearn / improve / feel” before shifting my focus to job searching.
On the other hand….I just couldn’t believe this opportunity came to me during such a period of scarcity. I was thrilled, honoured, and insanely grateful. Lucky, even. This job just felt right. As I told my recruiter, I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be.
I’m beginning to believe that maybe this is the internal shift I was feeling throughout September. That this is what was being fabricated cosmically. Without knowing what it was back then, I kept feeling some sort of pulling and shifting.
It was making room for growth.
Despite the sudden return to full-time WFH life, we still managed to breathe in that October magic.
My husband and I honoured our day, the October sun seemed to shine brighter this month, and a symphony of colours performed above our heads and by our feet.
“October 2020” was marked on our calendars at the beginning of this year. It has come, and it has gone, but it was beautifully impactful while it was here.
Here are a few of my favourite captures from this bittersweet, pivotal month.
Autumnal sun, Amber pathways, carpet of leaves, scarlet red vines, Victorian windows
Dark petals, velveteen pumpkins, candlelit, knitted warmth, thankful, grateful.
Burnt orange, warm caramel, wrap around, golden sunflowers, plum lips, cascading red